This can be done in many different ways and isn’t always overt or obvious.
Abusive behaviour can be:
- violent (hitting, kicking, slapping)
- emotional (humiliating and putting you down)
- sexual (forcing you to do sexual acts you don't want to)
- financial (controlling money, taking out loans in the partner’s name)
Abuse may start with name calling but often escalates over time into physical violence.
- Are you jealous? Do you constantly need to know where your partner is?
- Does it make you angry when they want to spend time with friends or family?
- Do you have strong opinions about what they wear or who they see?
- Do you call them names and put them down?
- Have you ever threatened to hurt yourself if they say they want to leave the relationship?
- Do you text them excessively?
- Do you monitor their calls and emails?
- Does drinking or drug use trigger any negative behaviour towards them?
- Do you ever use force in an argument – including using your physical presence to intimidate?
- Do you think they are responsible or your problems or feelings?
- Do you force them to do anything they don’t want to?
If you display any of these behaviours you are causing pain to the people you love.
Choose to stop.